Wednesday, 6 April 2011

An eye opener.

                       I have been waiting for this kinda of thing for sometimes. Well you see Im not going to deny that I might be a sentimental person. To be honest I know during this past 2 years I have been tested, during my A levels I had almost everything. Money,love,such a perfect place to have fun. In the end I almost gave up upon my future because of my stupidity. I might be a person who performing pray but seriously it is not what as I think. My mind went somewhere else. I dont know, maybe im not sincere enough in doing that. The happiness wont last long. After I finished my A level. Or specifically just before I finished all problems came to me.I had quarreling with my ex. And then I’ve been distracted by this kinda of thing, well its a game. But I cant get off my head from it.We called it DoTA. I dont know why I so addicted to it during my last period of studying. Im so addicted to it and it costs me my relationships and my future. Im not blaming on any of these but I blame myself  .So after I finished my A level... I thought everythings gonna be fine. But I lost almost everything. I lost my relationship. I lost my sponsorship and I almost lost my sense of thinking. And because of that I cant really manage myself. Even a small thing can make me really angry. Only God knows how I hate being me during that time. Hmm I kept thinking its gonna be fine when I get to Uni and date someone else. But its not as easy as I think. Cause I cant even make things right in my dream.  Therefore I think maybe keeping me busy will get me out form this kinda of probs. Hmm but it is inevitable. Non of that is working. Even my mom said Im being an immature person. Far from 20 years old guy. Its gonna be a hard time having conversation with me. Because of  I slept at 6 a.m everyday. I made a list of what i have done each day. And I have done NOTHING. Until this one morning. I pray to Allah. How I miss my old me. How I wish I have no feelings. How I wish I can return back and do it again. How I need a tranquility in my heart. I hope the tears that flowing that time was tears of sincerity. And in a split second everythings just seem alright. No depressing feelings and so on. But thats not going to be long enough.I have to make something to make sure this gonna be constant. Therefore, I have found this website which crucially provide me motivations. I hope Im going to be a good slave to Allah. Im gonna share some of it ;). Well those articles really touch my heart. Thats why im not denying that im a sentimental person. Im gonna build my self back. Be a better man. This time is for good .Cause all this while I have been tested and I did it in a such a wrong way. Really wrong. So I hope this time im gonna fix my head back and get back on the track. Actually the website I found is http://www.suhaibwebb.com it provides some advice and motivation. They are really good. And it was make based on real experiences. If you have time(try to J) visit this website  and pick up your favourite topic. I will share some of the content from these articles. So till next time alright. Im not saying these cuz to show off. But its for the sake of myself finding the truth. And sharing with you would be my pleasure of trying to be a good brother of muslim.

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